


IT HURTS TO BE 18

by smileyjeongin



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Angst, Cheesy, Child Abuse, Cuddling, Fluff, Gay, Hyunjeong, Kissing, M/M, Poverty, Strangers to Lovers, hyunin, jeongin's older than hyunjin in this, they're both confident gays lol, weird i know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2019-08-03 06:13:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16320671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smileyjeongin/pseuds/smileyjeongin
Summary: jeongin had a shitty life that he couldn't seem to escape. then he found someone to turn to when life was too much to handle.





	IT HURTS TO BE 18

**Author's Note:**

> warning: i’m not sure what i was trying to accomplish with this but it happened and now here we are

He didn’t play tennis, and his last name wasn’t Kim. But the jacket looked warm enough and it was really the only one he could afford. He needed it badly too, the winter chill wasn’t being kind to him and his last trust winter jacket was destroyed and unwearable now. Sighing, he glanced at the price tag again; it would cost more than half of the money he had, and for a moment he debated if being warm was really worth it. He could wait another day to eat, he’d gotten food yesterday and what was the point of getting food if the was going to die of hypothermia before every getting to eat it? He picked the jacket off the rack and took it up to the lady at the front desk, shielding his face from her view. 

The transaction was quick and he was on his way back to his house in the snow. A particularly strong gust of wind came and slapped him in the face, whipping his hair in all different directions. He willed himself to walk faster, get home as quickly as possible and then he wouldn’t have to worry about the cold or the wind anymore. His dad was home when he got there, and he wished he wasn’t. The trailer park wasn’t big, just like their trailer wasn’t big either. It was enough for the three of them and it was all they could afford. It wasn’t like his mom was ever around and his dad was only there on Monday, Wednesday, or Thursday; he usually had the place to himself. It was embarrassing to live in such a rundown, beat up, old trailer in a town that was full of well off people, ones that had houses with pretty front lawns and beautiful flowers around their porches. 

He grew up bullied because he wore the same three outfits day in and day out. He was picked on because he needed the free breakfast that the school provided and he didn’t eat lunch because he couldn’t pay. Everything was hard for him and no one understood. He was a loner, no kid his age was living in a place like he was, no kid his age could sympathize. He was used to it, and after a while, he started to ignore others. As they grew up the kids got more mature and found other things to interest themselves with besides the financial situation of him and his family. Everyone got cool new phones and fancy cars, they had designer brands and styles hair. All he got was a shower twice a week if the water wanted to work and malnourishment. 

“Jeongin is that you?” His dad called out. Jeongin shut the door,

“If you would look away from the TV maybe you would see that I look nothing like your wife.” Jeongin fired back. If there was one thing his father actually paid for, it was the TV and the beer. 

“Don’t be a smartass kid.” Kid. Jeongin hated being called a kid. He was eighteen years old, and he wished he had the money to leave the dump he has to call home. But he couldn’t take full time shifts at the gas station because he was finishing up school, finally, after getting held back last year. He couldn’t wait for the day when he got to leave. When he didn’t have to be surrounded by the stench of alcohol, when he didn’t have to hear his parents yelling about where the money went when his dad bet it all away and tried to deny it, when his parents decided for one night they somewhat loved each other and had sex while he’s trying to sleep just a few short feet away. 

Jeongin bit back a reply and went to his bed, attempting to do some of his homework. He had to try harder this year, he couldn’t afford to fail again. The TV in the background was too distracting, the loud, obnoxious noise blared in their RV and Jeongin wanted to smash his head against a wall until it stopped. It was nights like these when he opened the curtains on the tiny little window next to his bed and stared out, wondering what the hell he did to deserve to live like this. 

~~~

A trip to the nurse’s office was frequent of Jeongin. He didn’t get enough food and as a result, his body chose the most wonderful times to quit working or make him feel sick. It usually happened in gym class and years ago the coach tried to tell him off the first time it happened, spinning it into how Jeongin needed to exercise more to keep his body healthy so that wouldn’t happen anymore. Jeongin angrily told him it wasn’t his fault he hardly ever ate anything and it wasn’t a lack of trying that was causing the weakness in his muscles. The coach never said another word, and Jeongin hadn’t had him as a coach the rest of his years at the school. 

Jeongin sat in the nurse's office with an ice pack held up to his cheek. He hadn’t fallen or passed out this time, in fact for the most part his body was doing okay. He’d just gotten hit with a football. Jeongin thought football had to be the dumbest sport in all of creation. Who wanted to throw a weirdly shaped ball in the air and have to catch it, then try to run to the end of the field, all while trying not to get attacked by crazy people who wanted his face in the turf. He bruised easily, a side effect of having nearly no meat on his bones, and it would take ages to heal. But it wasn’t like Jeongin cared, it wasn’t like he was attractive or paid attention to anyway. 

Normally no one was ever in the nurse’s office. People came and went, asking for a band-aid or maybe they came to get their allergy pills if they needed, but it was usually empty. This time, as Jeongin sat alone on one of the chairs, someone else walked in. He walked in a way that screamed dominance, sauntering down the hall even though his lip was busted and he had a black eye. Jeongin watched him, he seemed unfazed by what was happening on his face. He paid no attention to Jeongin and started sorting through the nurse’s belongings, looking for stuff to patch up his lip and eye with. It was apparent that he was in here a lot. Finally, when he got what he needed, he turned to the mirror attached to the cabinet. He spotted Jeongin looking at him with a bored expression. The boy smirked. 

“What?” He asked, “Like what you see?” 

“As if.” Jeongin scoffed, rolling his eyes but training them right back on the boy afterward. The boy laughed and started attending to his lip. The cut was pretty nasty, splitting his lip wide open just a few millimeters away from the lip ring stabbed into his plump lower lip. 

“Well why are you staring if you don’t think I’m attractive?” The boy asked, his speech slightly slurred because of the work he was doing to his mouth.

“Got nothing better to look at.” Jeongin fired back. 

“Right.” The boy gave him that look that someone gave another person when they knew they were lying but weren’t going to say anything. He finished with his lip and threw away the dirtied rags and wipes. Then he went to the freezer and got a bag of ice for his eye. He sat right next to Jeongin, their legs and arms touching. He turned to Jeongin with his ice pack pressed against his wound, his fingers (his nails were painted black which was something Jeongin found strangely attractive) wrapped around Jeongin’s and he forced the ice pack away from Jeongin’s cheek. He whistled when he saw the purple mark on his skin, “How’d you get that?” He asked, releasing Jeongin’s hand. 

“Gym class.” Was all Jeongin offered. 

“Damn, I was hoping it’d be more hardcore like a fight.” The boy leaned back in his seat, looking out at the office. 

“Let me guess,” Jeongin replied, “You got beat up just a few minutes ago.” The boy turned just his head, a dangerously handsome smirk on his lips,

“You bet,” He said, “But I didn’t get beat up, the other guy is much worse.” 

“That’s what they all say.” 

“I’m Hyunjin.” The boy grinned at him as Jeongin paused for a second, his mind trying to catch up with the sudden change in conversation. 

“I don’t remember asking.” Jeongin replied curtly, turning his focus away from Hyunjin and on the jar of cotton rounds on the counter. 

“This is the part where you tell me your name.” Hyunjin said, ignoring Jeongin’s rather rude response. 

“Why?” 

“Because I want to be able to call you by your name when I see you again.” 

“What makes you so sure we’ll ever see each other again?” 

“I’ll make sure we do.” 

“Why?” 

Hyunjin sighed exasperatedly, “Because I want to get to know you. Unless you don’t believe in being friends before dating?” Now Jeongin turned to look at him, a look of disbelief on his face. 

“Who said anything about dating?” 

“I did.” Jeongin turned away from him as the seconds until the bell rang ticked down on the clock behind Hyunjin’s head. 

“It’s Jeongin,” He said, picking up his bag, “But we are not going on a date.” 

“Never?” Hyunjin asked as Jeongin began to walk away. 

“Never.” 

“What about this,” Hyunjin called out, “If I see you again, I get to take you out. Since you’re so convinced it won’t happen.” Jeongin stopped at the door but didn’t reply. 

~~~

It did happen. The very next day Hyunjin showed up at Jeongin’s locker after fifth period. He was leaning against it and Jeongin wished someone would come up behind him and push him over, he looked idiotic. Jeongin came over and started working on the combination without even acknowledging him or the stupid grin on his face. 

“How do you know this is my locker?” He asked, head still down. 

“I see you all the time Jeongin,” Hyunjin replied smoothly, “My class is right across the hall, I pass by here every day.” Jeongin looked at him,

“So you knew yesterday that you would see me again.” 

“Exactly.” 

“That’s cheating.” Jeongin turned back to his locker and started grabbing books. 

“No it’s being smart and strategic.” Jeongin sighed, shutting his locker with a loud bang that really did nothing but add more noise to the hall. 

“What do you gain from taking me on a date?” He asked, “Why not literally any other person in this school?” 

“Because I don’t look at any other person in the halls and think to myself about how I’m gonna find out who they are without it being weird just for this moment right here.” 

Jeongin blinked, “I don’t know if that was romantic or stalkerish.” 

“It was romantic, trust me.” 

“I don’t think so.” Jeongin started walking away, turning on his heels to get to class on time. Hyunjin was relentless though and he followed after Jeongin even though his class was the other way. 

“Come on Jeongin, a deals a deal.” Hyunjin said, his steps matching the long strides of the latter. It was obvious Jeongin was trying to get away. 

“Give me one good reason why I should go out with you.” Jeongin said, still not looking at Hyunjin. Hyunjin smirked and grabbed Jeongin’s wrist. Since he was the closest to the wall he couldn’t exactly press Jeongin up against it, at least not very easily, so he let his back hit the wall and trapped Jeongin in his arms. He slanted his supple lips over Jeongin’s teasing and tugging at his lips despite the pain it brought him from his cut. It took merely seconds for Jeongin to respond, kissing him back fervorously, his hands grasping Hyunjin’s shirt at his chest. Jeongin’s mouth fell open with a whimper and their tongues danced, the kiss deepening ten fold. By the time Jeongin yanked himself away the bell had rung and both of them were panting. Jeongin released his shirt and wiped his lip of the tiny bit of saliva left. 

“You made me late,” He said, trying to make it seem like he wasn’t out of breath and that wasn’t the most earth-shattering kiss ever, “So that had better be the best fucking date anyone’s ever been on.” 

~~~

It was. It really was, and no matter how much Jeongin could try and deny it, he knew in just a few days he would easily be head over heels for Hyunjin. Jeongin easily lost his front and practically melted at Hyunjin’s feet. They didn’t even do anything extraordinarily special. Hyunjin took his dad’s car and took Jeongin to a drive-in movie. They had shitty burgers, amazing fries, and even better milkshakes. They laughed and talked during the entire movie, hardly paying any attention. And when Hyunjin dropped him off at the place Jeongin said he lived, he dove in for yet another breathtaking kiss. 

He was amazing and not even having to walk a mile to get to his trailer, not even coming home to a drunk mother with a stranger in bed and an absent dad could ruin his mood that night. Hyunjin filled him with happiness and made him carefree, for once forgetting about his sucky life. The fact that Hyunjin had known who he was and wanted to ask him out long before Jeongin had any idea who Hyunjin was, was completely mind blowing to him (Hyunjin confessed he saw Jeongin on his way to the nurse and made his friend Jisung punch him so he could go too). Hyunjin saw him in the hall every day and didn’t think about his clothes, or his shoes, or the constant bruises, he saw beauty in Jeongin. For the first time since Jeongin could remember, he was happy. He had a boyfriend, and friends now too. Hyunjin’s friends were terribly sweet and funny. They practically forced him to hang out with them. It was amazing really, how by meeting one guy could change his life so drastically. Jeongin was almost scared at how much he relied on Hyunjin. The latter was his sole source of happiness, if he lost Hyunjin he lost not only his boyfriend, but the friends he gained too. 

It took a month before Hyunjin finally asked him why he never wanted to go to his house, and why he always waited until Hyunjin was gone to go inside. He had held Jeongin’s face in his hands and simply explained that he was worried about him and wanted to help, but he needed some answers. Jeongin came clean and told him where he really lived, how his mom was a prostitute who was never home, his dad was an alcoholic and gambled all their money away, how he was dirt poor and had nothing but a couple hundred dollars saved up from work. Hyunjin cradled Jeongin against his chest and insisted he come for dinner every night, as it was the least he could do since he couldn’t help with his parents or financial situation. If he wasn’t eating breakfast or lunch he should at least have a decent meal for dinner. So Jeongin started going to Hyunjin’s every night. 

Hyunjin would pick him up outside the entrance of the trailer park and they would drive to his small house. He was rather poor as well, but he was doing better than Jeongin. Hyunjin’s father was never around because he worked almost all hours of the day just to keep them above water. His mother was unable to work because she was confined to a wheelchair as a result of a bad car accident. She was the kindest woman Jeongin had ever met, and her cooking was phenomenal. They always spent an hour after eating to just hang out before Hyunjin took him back to his trailer. 

~~~

Jeongin liked to say Hyunjin was his escape. Life was stressful. As just a teenager he had to worry about when he was going to eat next, if they were going to get kicked out of their spot in the trailer park, if his mom was going to come home and if she was going to be with someone else in plain sight for his dad, if one day his dad would be so heavily drunk that he would snap and hurt him or his mom. Hyunjin was someone Jeongin could turn to when he needed a shoulder to lay on. He was dependable and understanding, he was ecomfort, he was home. 

His dad trying to take his money from work was a common occurrence. He got drunk and remembered the fact that Jeongin had a job and then when he got home, turned on him and said the reason for their poverty was the fact that he kept all the money he saved for himself. It didn’t help that Jeongin had absolutely no patience for his family anymore and always used words to fight back when his dad was yelling at him. He would retort and say it was in fact not his fault and all the money he got went into getting food so they could stay alive. This time, his dad found the savings bag. 

“What the hell is this?!” He screamed as soon as Jeongin stepped foot inside the RV. 

“Where did you get that?” Jeongin growled, reaching out, trying to take it back. 

“How dare you keep this from us and pretend you don’t have any money!” His dad roared, “There’s a lot in here. You didn’t get this from that gas station job, did you? You probably got this selling your body like a slut. Just like your mom.” 

“I did not!” Being accused of being a whore was hurtful but almost laughable, “That’s from work now give it back!” 

“You think I’m gonna give this back?!” His dad sneered, “I need this, it’s time for you to stop being so selfish and share.” 

“What could you possibly need it for?!” Jeongin exclaimed. 

“Beer you useless shit! Do you not pay any attention! I’m slaving away to make money and I have no time to relax with a cold beer! Now I have time to and there isn’t even any beer in my fridge!” 

“That’s ‘cause you already drank it!” Jeongin yelled, “You’re fucking wasted right now!” A cold hand came down and struck Jeongin across the face. He staggered back, hand flying to his stinging cheek. 

“Don’t you dare talk to me that way!” Then his other cheek was hit. Jeongin forced himself to stand steady against the door and look his dad in the eye. 

“Give it back.” He demanded. 

“Just go make more you fucking slut,” His dad replied, “Isn’t that where you disappear to every night? To please random people with the piece of shit body you’ve got?” 

“No!” 

“Oh now you’re lying?!” 

“I’m not lying!” 

“Don’t lie to me!” His dad lunged, and thankfully Jeongin was quicker this time. He was able to duck out of the way but now he was facing the door instead of having his back against it. His dad was wild, raging with anger, he dropped the money bag and made a move for Jeongin again. Jeongin tripped getting away and hit his head against the counter of their tiny kitchenette. His head spun, a sudden rush of pain overwhelming his senses. He turned just in time to watch his dad stagger, the alcohol taking a toll on his ability to stand up. Jeongin grabbed the savings bag and wobbled to his feet. He fumbled with the door, feeling dizzy, eyesight already getting fuzzy. He felt hands on his backpack but was able to throw himself out the door onto the ground and away from the monster inside. 

Jeongin ran as best he could out of the trailer park. He didn’t have a cell phone, but lucky for him he memorized Hyunjin’s home phone number and there was a public phone not far away. He made it there and shoved coins inside. His hands shook as he dialed the number and he had to wipe a slow trickle of blood from his forehead a few times. 

“Hello?” Jeongin breathed a sigh of relief hearing Hyunjin’s soothing voice on the other end. 

“H-Hyunjin it’s me,” Jeongin rasped, “I…”

“Jeongin? Are you okay? What’s wrong?” 

“N-No my dad… I need you to come pick me up. P-Please.” 

“Okay, stay where you are I’m on my way.” Hyunjin gave no chance for Jeongin to respond and hung up immediately. Jeongin put the phone back on it’s holder and stepped out of the phone box. He slumped down, head pounding, eyes tearing up. He clutched the savings bag in his hands and curled in on himself. Holding his knees, Jeongin started to cry. By the time headlights beamed in front of him he had stopped and was almost asleep. Hyunjin parked and went over to Jeongin, his heart falling when he saw the state his fact was in. Jeongin looked up, cracking a painful smile.

“Hi.” He said, his voice so tired it was only a whisper. 

“Hey,” Hyunjin responded just as softly. He kneeled down and took Jeongin’s hands in his own, “Let’s get you in the car, okay?” Jeongin nodded and let Hyunjin pull him up, helping him to the car. They sat there for a while, with the heat blasting, Jeongin resting on Hyunjin’s shoulder. 

“He called me a slut.” Jeongin said in a hushed voice. His eyes were glazed over, staring at nothing with a completely blank expression. 

“You’re not.” Hyunjin replied. 

“I know.” 

“You’re beautiful.” Hyunjin told him. 

“Why?” Jeongin sat up a little, pulling away from Hyunjin to face him, “Why do you say that every day? Why do you think that? What could you possibly see about me that’s ‘beautiful’?” 

“I… I don’t know how to describe it Jeongin,” Hyunjin wouldn’t meet his eyes, and he took a while before continuing, “To me, to me you’re the sun among a sea of stars, you’re the moon in an ocean on planets, I don’t know how to describe how I feel Jeongin. I just know that you are the most beautiful person, inside and out, that I’ve ever met.” There was a long silence. 

“Shut up you’ll make me cry again.” Jeongin sobbed. But the tears were already falling as Jeongin shoved his face in Hyunjin’s sweatshirt and flung his arms around his neck. Hyunjin squeezed Jeongin tight, despite the awkwardness of their embrace because of the gear shift. 

“I love you Jeongin.” 

Jeongin sniffled, “I love you too, you greasy ass idiot.” 

Hyunjin laughed and released Jeongin, using his fingers (the nail polish chipped and in need of a new coat) to gently wipe away his tears, “Now let’s get back home.” 

~~~

“Yang Jeongin to the principal’s office, Yang Jeongin to the principal’s office.” Until then, no one in his fifth period class even knew who he was. Now all their eyes followed his every move as he gathered his stuff and left the room. He passed Hyunjin and Chan’s class on the way to the office and met each of their eyes, both of them looking worried. Jeongin started getting nervous when he saw policemen inside the office; he knew he didn’t do anything wrong, but everyone had that feeling when police were around, suddenly racking their mind for what the hell they could’ve done. 

“Mr. Yang?” One of them asked as he walked in. 

“Yes Sir.” 

“We have unfortunate news, why don’t you have a seat?” Jeongin carefully sat in one of the plush chairs facing the officers. 

“We won’t waste your time,” Another started, “This morning a passing citizen found your father’s body on the side of the road up by Shine Down. The bartender inside confirmed he had been there last night and we believe he had alcohol poisoning. Mr. Yang we regret to inform you that your father is dead. We need you to confirm that it is, in fact, your father before we can perform an autopsy. We couldn’t contact your mother.” Jeongin blinked. The bell rang and students flooded the hallway, Jeongin was rooted to the chair. 

“You will be excused for the rest of the day Mr. Yang,” The principal said, “I will inform all your teachers of the news. I’m very sorry for your loss.” Jeongin wanted to laugh, as if he was upset that his dad was dead. All that man did was make them more poor than they had to be, he drank all the time, he never once asked Jeongin how he was or how school went. Since Jeongin was born that man hadn’t paid him any attention. 

“If you would come with us Mr. Yang we have to confirm the body.” 

“Of course.” Jeongin stood and followed the officers out. Waiting just outside the door was Hyunjin, Chan, Jisung, and Woojin all late for class just to see if he was okay. The sight made his lips slip into a smile and he hugged Hyunjin tight, 

“My dad died,” He said quietly. Hyunjin said nothing, not knowing how Jeongin was feeling about the news. He had a heart of gold but his dad wasn’t a good person and Jeongin had no reason to wish he wasn’t dead. 

“Are you okay?” Hyunjin asked, pulling back a little to see Jeongin’s face. Jeongin smiled lightly, thankful the officers were waiting at the door multiple feet away.

“I’m getting better.” He pecked Hyunjin’s lips lightly and hurried off not wanting to make them wait longer. Hyunjin smiled as he left, he knew what those words meant. As terrible as it was, maybe it was just what needed to happen to finally turn things around.

**Author's Note:**

> if you got this far you’re the real mvp,, thx for reading xoxo


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